Ok!  Everything except for toiletries, my laptop and a couple chargers are packed.  I’m all set for tomorrow.  But I’m coming close to hyper-ventalating.  No good reason why, just really anxious.  I don’t want to go because of my parents and family obligations.  It just feels like I’m shutting down, both physically and emotionally.  I feel sick to my stomach, if I could vomit, I would.  And emotionally I’m irritable, lethargic, and depressed.  I just want to get on the plane and be done with it.

But it has been an interesting couple days.  Thursday I went shopping for a swimsuit and all they had was tankinis…  I put on a lot of weight over the past 5 years or so and trying them on was a painful experience.  I got 2 sets.  When we get back I’ll have to start excersizing.

And on Friday, my sister and I were going to drop off library books and see The A-Team but her car broke down.  Thankfuly, we had already dropped off the library books.  First the brakes started to go, but we thought we would make it there and back no problem.  Then at a light the car stalled, neither of us heard it but whatever, we kept going.  Before we got to the next light it had stalled.  Don’t get me wrong, it was still going, but she couldn’t accelerate.  Pulled into a random driveway, power steering and brakes failed but we stopped without hitting anything.  The next hour and a half was spent calling people, she was calling friends to see if someone could rescue us and I was calling my dad, a repair shop, and a towing company.  We both called home in the hopes that my mom would answer the phone but she was mowing and didn’t check the messages when she got in.  Thankfully, Amanda found someone to take us home and the car was towed.  Even better, my dad oked it to be fixed and we picked it up that night.  Oh, and there wasn’t anything wrong with my car so it’s good to go.

I found a wi-fi hot spot walking distance from my grandparent’s house so if it is really there, I may post once or twice durring the next 2 weeks.  If not, you’ll know why.  See you in July!

Filed under: Bipolar, Family, Life by admin
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